Holiday Guide to Tipping

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Your guide to holiday tipping
A little holiday green can spread cheer for the rest of the year. Here are the keys to tipping the right people the right amounts.
By Liz Pulliam Weston

Many of us plan to spend less this holiday season. But far more of us plan to skimp on ourselves than intend to cut back on holiday tips for service providers.
Eighty-four percent of the 1,900 U.S. residents recently polled by Consumer Reports said they planned to buy less for themselves, while 40% said they'd buy fewer gifts for friends and 30% intended to trim their end-of-the-year gratuities.
To me, that's heartening. The definition of thrift is economizing at your own expense. The definition of miserliness is economizing at someone else's expense, which is what skipping holiday tips could easily be.

After all, end-of-the-year gratuities can show these folks that you appreciate the work they do for you and thank them for helping your life run more smoothly. This extra cash may help foster loyalty and, in a few instances, prevent future problems (like a building superintendent who might become sulky).
Of course, sometimes budgets are too tight to tip everyone who might be expecting a gratuity this season.
Who gets tipped at the holidays:

% who gave anything
Average gift*
Cleaning person
65%
$50
Child's teacher
59%
$20
Hairdresser
56%
$20
Child care provider
52%
$38
Manicurist
51%
$20
Newspaper carrier
45%
$20
Barber
40%
$15
Building superintendent
33%
$25
Pet care provider
30%
$25
Mail carrier
29%
$20
Lawn care worker
28%
$25
School bus driver
26%
$15
Fitness instructor
22%
$25
Sanitation worker
14%
$20
*Cash tip or value of noncash giftSource: Consumer Reports
Indeed, no less an etiquette expert than Peter Post of the Emily Post Institute confirms that holiday tipping, and gift giving in general, "isn't about going into debt." If your budget won't stretch, it won't stretch.
But that doesn't release you from your obligation to acknowledge good service.

Post recommends that in situations where a holiday tip would be expected, the financially challenged compose a handwritten thank-you note and include with it some kind of seasonal gesture, like a plate of holiday cookies. Superb service might prompt a praise-filled letter to the worker's supervisor.
Consumer Reports has an additional suggestion: When money is tight, focus your cash tips on those who need it the most. If your housecleaner is supporting a family on a thin income and your hairdresser jets off to the Caribbean every year, it's OK to give the former a nice cash tip and the latter a nice card with perhaps a small gift.
Who shouldn't expect a tip You'll be relieved to know there are people who aren't expecting cash from you. That doesn't mean you can ignore them, though; it just means your gift shouldn't be green. These people include:
Teachers. Professionals in general shouldn't be tipped, and teachers typically include themselves in this category. Ask what classroom supplies they need, and supply them. Gifts of food or a well-deserved day at a spa (perhaps purchased jointly with other parents) can be thoughtful, as well.
Friends. Whatever the service they provided for you, a gift is a more appropriate thank-you than a check.
Postal Service employees. The post office discourages cash tips, but your mail carrier is allowed to accept gifts worth less than $20.
Anyone who would be insulted. You'll have to feel your way on this one a bit, since some of the people you traditionally didn't tip -- a beauty salon owner, for example -- now often have no problem accepting your money. If you offer the cash and it's returned to you promptly, you'll know you've found one of these elusive folks.

The ground rules for tipping How much you give, Emily Post and other etiquette authorities tell us, can depend on a number of factors, such as:
The quality of the service.
The frequency of the service.
How long you've used the service.
Regional custom.
Your budget.
Use your own judgment, but be guided by the spirit of generosity. The better you take care of the people who care for you, the better off everybody will be.
Now that we've got that settled, let's move on to whom and how much. The "whoms" break down into four basic categories.

1. People who provide you service regularly but briefly. These folks typically get $10 to $30. The list here can include:
Newspaper deliverers.
Parking or garage attendants.
Trash collectors.
Any regular delivery person (for food, laundry, overnight packages, whatever).
Several readers asked how they should handle holiday tipping when they get regular service from a company but the people actually providing the service change constantly. Peter Post handles this simply by tipping whoever happens to show up on the day he's handing out the cash and hoping that others do the same so that the holiday generosity gets spread around.
2. People you see less often but for longer periods. These are usually the ones who work hard to tend you and yours. The holiday tip normally equals the cost of one visit, although you can reduce that to $20 or so if your patronage is sporadic. They include:
Hairdressers or barbers.
Manicurists.
Facial specialists.
Personal trainers.
Massage therapists.
Regular after-hours baby sitters (not nannies or day care workers).
Housecleaners (unless they are full time; then see below).
Lawn-care crews.
Pool cleaners.
Pet groomers.
If you use a day care center, ask the director about appropriate tips for the child's primary caregiver. The accepted amounts can range from $10 to $70, plus a small gift from the child.

3. Your employees. Anyone you employ more than a couple of days a week gets a bigger check, typically at least equal to one week's pay. Exceptional or long service might boost the amount to two weeks' pay or more. A small gift is often appropriate as well. This list includes:
Nannies.
Full-time housekeepers.
Home care attendants.
Caretakers.
If you're not planning to tip your employees, you need to ask yourself why. If you're genuinely not happy with their services, you should have long ago detailed your concerns and given them a chance to improve. Otherwise, withholding a holiday tip is sandbagging. You wouldn't like it if your boss surprised you with a negative evaluation out of the blue, so don't do it to others.

4. People who can be strategically tipped. All tips can have an element of strategy in them, but these gratuities can make a real difference in the quality of your life. Here the range varies enormously:
Building superintendents. Ask around your building. The going rate can vary from as little as $20 to $200 or more.
Doormen. Ditto. Usually the range is $10 to $100.
The bartender, wait staff or maitre d' at a place you frequent regularly. Try $20 to $50 and see if your typical table location doesn't improve.